This is the end. My good friends, the end.

Let us remember the begining when I first contemplated your existence.

It was philosophy 101, introduction to philosophy. We stumbled on Descartes. We were questioning the possibility of a evil magician who was fucking with our heads. Apparently this is when doubt began. I wondered if you (chair on the right) were an illusion created by the mad genius.

This is when i took to debating the merits of definitions. I remember living in the dorm and ranting with Lucas that a definition is a description of a word that encompasses all methods of utility, understanding, etc. It was vague but to define a word like definition, it would have to be able to explain how to derive the defintion of nothingess and being simultaneously. Difficult. We began by defining 'chair'. And that was the begining.

For a year we attempted to define 'defintion', although Lucas had a more Socratic notion of assisting. He simply told me when i was wrong and why. I failed.

I started with you my friend, and i failed you. But you did not fail me. No, when i was most distressed about my philosophical learning you appeared again.

In ethics we debated over the utility of using you to bash another man's skull in. Good times i tell you. Then we argued of the ethical responsibility of using a chair as compared to using a human. It didn't stop there.

In ancient philosophy I debated over the connection between you and a newly formed twin harvested from the fifth level chair selection. And that was when we were introduced to Chair Two (on the Left). What made one chair, like another? Plato said that chairs participate in chairness. Definitions i tell you, this brought me back to the definition of chair. It was circular.

In Mind and Cognition we posited the notions of a brain in the vat. Same scenario as the mad magician, except in this case the chair's were creations of a technological beast. A vast computer. Think Matrix friend.

In Eastern Religion you appeared yet again. In discussing the hindu nature of brahma we described brahma as being in everything, even you. Both of you were linked by the substance Brahma. Animism was brouhgt up and the idea that all objects have a soul, even you. I began wondering about your soul. Perhaps your soul was the key to defining you.

And then i learned you didn't have a soul, silly me. In Existentialism we argued over the consciousness inherent in all objects. This went no where of course. Only humans are conscious, which i'm sure you understand all to well my friends. Silly philosophy major, Kierkigard says only humans have a soul.

I never took skepticism, but i'm sure you were very useful to that class as a whole. Had i taken it we would have denied your existence once more, and then in the process denied our own existence. Shame really.

I took theory of knowledge though, and learned that the skeptics were freaks. Apparently to deny everything is counter productive. It in effect destroys all forms of understanding. I stood back. Amazed. Chairs existed again. I'm sure you weren't concerned friends, but i was. Of course you still don't have a soul, damnit descartes and nietzsche.

Of course, Nietzsche. Funny chap him. He appologizes to a horse, but forgets to appologize to the rest of the world for being pawns in humanitie's manipulative excersizes. Sure its bad to beat a horse, but a chair is great to sit in. I think you should stand up for yourselves, but i will not get involved because i respect your opinion that much.

My final understanding of you, came in the form of identity. This is a slight trip back but even more specific. Apparently we can't explain why all chairs are not alive in every detail, nor can we explain why even you friends are the same as you were a second ago, or a second before that... or before that... Apparently you aren't even you. We have no self-identity. Shame really, i liked myself at some point. I'm sure we could have been vast friends, but i don't like introductions so i'm going to leave you now. I will capture a version of you in this image though for posterity.

I will always remember how much i enjoyed learning about you. I will also be sure to donate to the ULL Philosophy department so they can perhaps get a more updated example of a chair, you guys are what like 30 or something? You look like chairs born in the 1970's era, perhaps 1980's

Thank you orange chairs.